


thinking out loud

by omanjuu



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Pining, it's not really pining bc it's an established relationship but also, no major spoilers but it is post-blue lions route if that is a concern
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 04:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20633180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omanjuu/pseuds/omanjuu
Summary: “it scares me how hard it is to remember life before you.”





	thinking out loud

**Author's Note:**

> btw the quote is from david levithan i'm very # unoriginal i just saw it and then my brain went DIMILETH and then one hour later this word vomit manifested on notepad

“It scares me how hard it is to remember life before you.”

Byleth looks up from her paperwork, and cocks her head almost quizzically. “Sorry?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I was just... thinking,” Dimitri says, clearing his throat. His cheeks are a little pink, almost as if he embarrassed himself verbalising his thoughts into real, breathing words.

“I see. You do a lot of thinking by yourself, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” Dimitri agrees, and his gaze falls into his balled fists. It’s the first time in ages since he’d finished his work early, and strangely enough freedom from everyday drudgery drove him rather insane. He’d wandered over to Byleth’s room, hoping to dispel mindless restlessness with a hot cup of tea and a nice chat, so he was utterly dismayed to find that Byleth had her hands tied up with some administrative work. He offered to look through the documents with her, or to leave if his presence distracted her, but she asked for him to stay — to sit next to her as she sifts through document after document, and pens neat little notes at the margins with an almost poised intensity.

Perhaps it’s a matter of getting used to such rare moments of peace — many a time he had Byleth next to him as he similarly worked through the tedious formalities being king required of him, her presence wondrously comforting as she watched him without a word, occasionally leaning over to rest on his broad shoulders and making his heart beat just a little harder against his chest. But then again maybe it’s something Dimitri can never get used to, for such restlessness gives way to a swarm of unwarranted thoughts — some of which he wishes never came across his mind.

(Because whenever he thinks about just how plausible it would’ve been for him to fall into the indifference of his own monstrosity and die the untimely, undignified death he was destined for, he can’t help but shiver, and thank whoever the goddess out there was that Byleth chose him; that Byleth chose to save him.)

But today his thoughts bring him to life before Byleth, and to life before enrolling in Garreg Mach: how on earth did he even get by? He remembers how much he loved to sit in his father’s lap, how gently his stepmother stroked his long blonde hair, and how he’d run down the hallways of the castle with his friends, thrusting out fallen branches as swords and sparring till the sun went down. He also remembers the night of the tragedy, where his tears blurred the flickering flames and the oozing blood, and then he remembers Dedue — hand pressing down on his back, the two of them slowly but surely moving forward — as he promised to forge a better future.

All these things happened — they must have happened, and yet the days before he met Byleth seems to have melted away into... into nothingness. All his happiness, all his sorrows: they pale in comparison to the exhilarating roller coaster of an experience his years with Byleth has brought him. And even though he can’t help but feel a tinge of guilt and wistfulness over all that has been forgotten, this feels... alright.

Dimitri bites his lip. He really wants to kiss her. And to hold her hand. Hell, he just wants to touch her, to feel her presence and be reassured that she is physical and real and here. But he knows he shouldn’t — Byleth has so much on her plate, and he can’t let afford to have his selfishness affect her.

“Dimitri.”

“Y-yes!”

She’d been observing him from the corner of her eye, observing his expression which morphed seamlessly across his face and finally culminated in one of large, soft eyes that studied her with great longing.

“Come here,” she says, pushing the paperwork aside and then dusting at her lap. “Come closer so you can rest on me.”

Dimitri’s jaw drops.

“W-what? Rest on you? I-I couldn’t! Not when you’re so hard at work!”

He’s so flustered he’s hardly listening, so Byleth has to pull him over herself, and ease his head onto her lap. “You see,” she says with a small frown, “Your eye bags are forming again. You’re working too hard.”

“Not at all,” he says, hoping that the colour of his face isn’t betraying him. “My workload has dropped significantly ever since the other lords have stepped up to help me, so I-“

“Then you’re thinking too much,” Byleth interjects. Her fingers dance across his cheeks feather-like, and then cup his face. “It’s healthy to be introspective and reminisce but... don’t think too many scary things. It worries me when you’re worried.”

Dimitri wants to tell her that he’s not worried, and there’s nothing for her to be worried about but he catches himself before he tells another lie. Instead, he looks up at her, marveling at just how beautiful she looks with the sun dappling her face luminous gold, and the breeze making her hair sway ever so slightly. The only think he can think of is how-

“I love you.”

She’s a little surprised by how sudden the confession is, but then she smiles one of her rare and utterly beautiful smiles, and leans down to kiss him.

“I love you too,” says Byleth, threading her fingers with his. She hesitates for a split second, before she, too, confesses, “I also can’t imagine life before you... or without you. Everything seemed so inconsequential until that day, and not once have I ever regretted choosing you.

“So thank you Dimitri, for choosing me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i am... very fucked by how much fe3h has punched me in the feelings with dimitri so when i finished my blue lions route playthrough and was miserable about how subsequent routes are gonna have significantly less dimitri content my oomfs told me it's time for me to create my own content so i guess i finally did that :-D to be fair it's not much but i really like character introspection and it was fulfilling to do that with dimitri ♡
> 
> thank you for reading i hope i can write more soon !


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